Parents of highly successful kids know these 5 things that most don’t, says parenting expert—good grades ‘only take you so far’

I’ve always been intrigued by families with children who show exceptional achievements in their careers or pursue their passions with outstanding results. What did their parents do differently to empower them? What strategies are effective in providing kids with the necessary support to thrive? Despite siblings often being dissimilar, what common approaches were beneficial?

For my book, “The Family Dynamic: A Journey Into the Mysteries of Sibling Success,” I conversed with numerous parents of high-achieving children and consulted over 100 experts. As a mother of teenage twin boys, here are the most compelling insights I discovered.

1. Optimism is crucial

While academic excellence and enrichment are vital, a sense of possibility is equally important for children to succeed. Parents I interviewed consistently advocated for thinking big, fostering hope, and staying positive. They instilled in their children the belief that “All things are possible,” as shared by Marilyn Holifield, a civil rights activist, and Amalia Murguia, a mother of seven successful children.

2. Understand your child and tailor motivation

Parents often struggle with motivating children in subjects like math and science. By customizing motivational approaches based on a child’s interests, parents can inspire their children effectively. Encouraging children to see the value in learning specific skills relevant to their aspirations can significantly boost their academic performance.

3. Learning and empowerment are not limited to formal settings

Children are capable of more than parents often realize. Encouraging self-sufficiency and allowing children to learn through everyday activities can enhance their skills and confidence. Parents should focus on fostering independence rather than intervening unnecessarily.

4. Foster a love for learning

In addition to hard work and perseverance, instilling a genuine love for knowledge is crucial for a child’s development. Encouraging curiosity and providing opportunities for learning, such as through travel, can significantly impact a child’s intellectual growth.

5. Motivate with love, not pressure

Parents should approach motivating their children with love and support rather than acting as coaches or critics. By exposing children to various opportunities and understanding their motivations, parents can inspire their children to pursue their interests with passion and determination.

Susan Dominus, an accomplished journalist and author, shares these valuable lessons from her research on sibling success. Her book delves into the dynamics of successful families and offers insights for parents seeking to empower their children.