I Begged My Boyfriend to Tell Me What He Wants to Try in Bed. Oh God, Anything But This.

Mistakenly, I thought he would overcome it.

“How to Do It” is Slate’s sex advice column. Do you have a question? Submit it anonymously to Jessica and Rich.

A 30-year-old woman wrote to the column seeking advice. She was brought up to believe that she must maintain her appearance for her partner. After undergoing therapy and personal growth, she is struggling with her boyfriend’s preference for armpit hair, which affects her ability to get in the mood. She fears being judged for not conforming to traditional beauty standards. Unsure how to handle the situation, she seeks guidance on navigating these complex feelings.

Another letter writer, a woman in her 50s, shared her experience of losing her libido and embracing asexuality. Despite no longer desiring sex, she longs for companionship and intimacy. Seeking advice on dating while being asexual, she is unsure how to approach relationships given her past experiences and preferences. The column recommends exploring various dating platforms and communication strategies to find fulfilling connections that align with her desires.

In a separate letter, a man expresses frustration with his wife changing plans for intimacy last minute due to her busy schedule. Concerned about her level of interest in sex, he questions the impact of these cancellations on their relationship. The column advises him to communicate openly with his wife about his feelings and expectations, emphasizing the importance of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries.