Ask Margar-etiquette about Launching a Young Adult

Dear Margar-etiquette,

My son is about to graduate from high school and start college in the fall. I’m unsure if he is fully prepared for this transition. What can we do over the summer to ensure he is ready for some level of independence?

Nervous Dad

Dear Nervous Dad,

Take a moment to relax – your concerns are common among parents. Sending a young adult out into the world can be both thrilling and intimidating. However, you still have time, and remember, the aim isn’t perfection but progress. This is a crucial stage in parenting where the focus shifts from doing things for them to teaching them to do things for themselves.

In my Adulting Series, I suggest that teens and young adults concentrate on four key areas during the summer to boost their confidence and independence:

1. Manage your schedule.
Encourage your son to handle his own calendar – appointments, deadlines, work shifts, and social plans. Let him practice now under your guidance.

2. Understand finances.
Educate him about budgeting, tracking expenses, avoiding overdrafts, and grasping the concept of credit. Implementing a simple weekly budget and regularly checking a bank app can make a significant difference.

3. Learn to cook.
Move beyond basic meals like ramen noodles. Have him plan, shop for, and prepare some simple dishes. This not only boosts confidence but also saves money and may earn him popularity in the dorm.

4. Define your values.
This serves as a moral compass. Knowing his core values, such as integrity, responsibility, kindness, faith, or curiosity, will guide him when faced with new decisions.

Moreover, this summer, give him the space to practice. Let him try, let him fail, and be there to support and encourage rather than fix everything. Independence thrives through safe, small experiments.

Best wishes,
Margar-Etiquette
#LITA (Love is the Answer)

P.S. Don’t fret if he messes up a meal or overspends once or twice – it’s all part of the learning process. Remember, the goal isn’t to send off a fully grown adult, but a young man learning how to become one.